“Eh you sure you can take it? I’m afraid that you’ll faint on me. Or something.”

“Sure, just ask. I will answer. Am in a answering mood tonight.”

Not unlike others, I spent last night sat in my bedroom, staring at my iBook, looking at saucy photos and reading some blogs before he came online.

“What are your views on nudity?” I typed.

Being the bloody suspicious person that he is, he typed: “Why you ask??”

“I’m reading some blogs and looking at some naked pics.” I typed. “So I am curious what your views are on the topic of nudity? You think it is a sin? It’s ok? It’s wadda-wadda?”

I fished him for some answers. I am telling you now, my dear readers, you should not suggest answers if you want an honest answer. But what the heck – it was way pass midnight and I felt like torturing him a little.

“Come on.” I prodded him along. “Don’t just clam up. There must be more to you than praying to God and going for Bible study 3 times a week.”

“Err…”

“Oh Seven, this is the thing that I absolutely cannot stand about you. You always appear so perfect. I suffocate when I am with you. I don’t see how I am able to just relax and be myself when I am around you and your uptight self.”

“Err…”

“Another thing – I bloody hate it when you say Err… Err what? Err what?!”

“Saw you naked before, what…” Seven typed into the messanger.

“Yes, saw me naked before. But then you prayed to God asking for forgiveness. That, I really cannot tahan… ask for forgiveness for what?”

“Err…”

“I never regret a single moment spent with you. I don’t go crawling to God, asking for forgiveness for something that is so pure and innocent. We loved each other so much and everything about us was pure.” I typed.

“But it was sinful.” Seven typed.

“It was not! That’s my point, Seven. I never felt ashamed being naked with you. And I will never ever feel guilty for something that I felt was right.”

“Well people change.”

“You mean I changed? You changed? Or us both changed?” I questioned.

“You changed.” He replied.

“You didn’t?”

“I changed too.” Seven typed.

“But every time I speak to you, I feel so tensed up. I can’t share my thoughts with you. Sometimes all I want to do is just talk. Not be judged. It’s terrible enough to be judged by the world and by God. Sometimes I just want to hear you talk to me. Tell me things, Seven.”

“Err…”

“Okay you said, you’ve changed. You tell me what is the most sinful thought you’ve had. Tell me?”

“Cannot lah.” Seven typed in quick response.

“Why cannot tell?” I typed. “You have a peeing fetish? You enjoy peeing on girl’s foot to mark territory?” I was damn sure that I’ve heard of a whole load of stuff. I was damn sure I would not be startled at all.

“You like SM?” I asked, teasing him.

“No lah. I fantasize about having sex with you.” Seven typed.

My very first pause, after controlling the flow of the conversation for the last hour or so. This is how our relationship has deteriorated to.

“Politely put, I fantasize us making love.” Seven, the ever polite and politically correct of the two of us.

Wait a fucking minute, I thought to myself. Bloody read that again. Fantasize. You. Me. Shagging. Seven. Otto.

“Err…” I typed. I now understand why Seven keeps using the word “err….”. It is a convenient and safe reply.

He typed for a couple of minutes. I didn’t take notice of what he typed. I was just blown away by his one very revealing sentence. Trust me, I was so dumb founded. I am quiet by nature but hardly ever run out of words when messaging with friends.

When I regained my composure, I bombarded him with the following:

“Whatever happened to most sinful thoughts such as:

1. Along with my partner in crime (ie Eve), spontaneously plot to rob the guy who carted a plastic box full of watches from Time Chain into his car in the lower parking bay, while we were paying for our parking tickets.

2. Jatuhkan my standard and be a groupie. Have mind blowing sex with Chris Martin, from Coldplay. Can orgasm just listening to him sing.

3. Same as no.2 but with Craig David instead.

4. Speaking of Craig David – totally regret not keeping Craig David lookalike as boyfriend. Most handsome face but got nothing upstairs lah.”

Dear readers : You must be well aware of this secret weapon women possess. Best kept secret, I tell you... very effective in throwing off attention that you do not want. Starts in infancy when your mother gently distract you with, "Go ask your father." when you asked her "Mummy, where do babies come from?"

Seven’s reply was surprisingly simple: “Those are your sinful thoughts. Mine just revolves around asking you to come to the hotel…”

“Stop it. You are corrupting me.” I pleaded.

“Then you undress… and you lie on top of me.”


***
Have you felt that you know this person for life? And if you ever lose him today, you will find him tomorrow. Or the next. Or the next after that.

That was how I felt when I first met Seven. There was this soulish connection that defies space and time. I met him in church when I was 16 and for one year, we were friends. We went out for church trips, we chatted with other friends. But knowing he was around the room made me feel happy. There was this “knowing”.

Knowing that he is mine and that I belong to him. Even at the first hello.

Knowing that we are destined to be together, our paths will cross time and time again.

Knowing that we will marry each other, without ever talking about it.

Knowing that if we do not marry each other, we will one day find each other again. And when I ask him how he is, I imagined, he’ll say he’s fine and married to a wonderful woman. They have a daughter and they named her Otto.

Knowing that if I am not with him, I will name my son Seven.

Knowing that we are together, even when we are apart. Even when we are 70.

It’s been close to 10 years since I sat in the bathtub with Seven. Then we were physically naked. Last night we were emotionally naked. I gave up trying to rationalize this “thing” about Seven.